I’m finally back from my three month hiatus and since I’ve been doing quite a bit of reflecting lately, it’s about time I stop neglecting this space of mine and begin digitally jotting down some content and inner thoughts that are needed to be properly processed and filtered.
As 2016 is drawing to a close, I would like to just drop a reminder here about how proud I am of myself for achieving thus far. It definitely hasn’t been an easy journey this year, breaking boundaries and branching out into the dreaded, or so they call it ‘terrors’ of the studying plus working world; going through the dreaded pitch season and long working hours were dreadful but I was surrounded by incredible people – I enjoyed every bit of it and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. To add on, I would say that I have grown quite a ton as a person this year (please let me know personally if you think otherwise and how I can improve, that would really mean a lot) and I guess here’s a pea size snippet of my year and things that have been brewing recently.
I have experienced love once again this year. Just for the record, my last relationship ended back in late 2013 and I had spent two years of self care building emotional stability to know that this time, I am in a much better position to be able to love freely again. Something that I took back from my past relationship is the lack of maturity both parties had in the progression of being in a relationship, which lead to the consequences of it; how manipulative he was and how drastically abusive it became. With this being said, it made me ponder about how two mature individuals would be when they fall in love. In fact, I actually believe that a mature person doesn’t fall in love, he rises in love. The word ‘fall’ doesn’t seem right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they are able to manage and stand through their relationship to keep the engine going; It is unsustainable – they don’t have a backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.
I believe that a mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. He feels grateful that you have accepted his love, and not vice versa. He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need you to be thankful for it. But instead, he feels thankful that you have accepted his love. When two mature individuals are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they compliment each other so much that they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality. In fact, it enhances it: they become more distinct in their own special way.
It’s beautiful when two mature individuals in love help each other to be free. There are no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. I mean, how can you dominate the person you love? Just think about it. Domination is a form of hatred, anger, enmity. How could anyone think about dominating a person you love? I’m positively certain that you would love to see someone you love totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality. That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.
When immature people fall in love, they destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature people in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy barriers and walls that are in their path. More importantly, they help each other grow and bring out the best in each other. When love flows with freedom, there is beauty. When love flows with dependence, it reveals ugliness. This allows the relationship to blossom in the most imperfectly perfect way, and that’s something that I would love to aim to achieve in 2017 – to be mature in love, and to grow in love.